Akatsiri
by solus.serpen
Summary: Akatsuki aren't as flawless as they appear; how they stick together with such a fragile façade is a mystery. Siri, having lost her memory, is the perfect impartial onlooker. 1st person except the prologue. Siri's POV. Akatsuki-centric. No pairings.
1. Prologue

**disclaimer; I do not own any part of the anime/manga Naruto or any of the characters therein.**

Hello all!

I know this is my first fic on here but honestly I've written tons and I don't think this is reflective of the fact that this is a 'first fic'.

I normally hate fanfictions with OCs in them and I understand that a lot of other people do. Then again, like everyone else who writes an OC character of their own, I must protest that she isn't a stupid, mary-sue type of person. I hope that she is impartial enough for you to get an impression of the other characters (Akatsuki) through her as opposed to concentrating on her character. Obviously though, as it is written in first person (except this prologue) I can't help but developing my character and showing her thoughts and feelings. Her character isn't really strong enough to be repugnant to anyone though, which is what I'm trying to get at. Her name is Siri, hence the title 'AkatSiri' (though it's not a 'let's pair her with everyone!' type of fic - I don't think I pair her up at all).

I just remembered that there's another OC later. I wrote this before Konan's name or appearance was revealed so I wrote my own version on Pein's partner. She's not a main character as such so don't worry. She is also not very impressionable; I really only wanted this fic to get across the personalities of the Akatsuki.

Anyhow, this is the prologue; I hope you enjoy!

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**PROLOGUE**

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The rustling in the bushes was not just a hedgehog as Deidara had first thought - he knew it wasn't - but saying something about it would only invite attack. He was pretty sure that his partner, Sasori, had also realised that they were being followed by now anyway, and so they had only to wait until a convenient place to stop and ambush their pursuer. Then they could be on their way again without any trouble.

It had been a long mission (or maybe that was just because it had been so tedious, trekking over long stretches of grassland and over countless mountains - only to find that their target had already been assassinated when they finally reached their destination), and Deidara was almost looking forward to returning to the base.

It was hard to keep himself from peering over his shoulder to see who had taken an interest in them though and Deidara couldn't stop his hand from twitching slightly. His partner mostly ignored the gesture, although Deidara did see his red-headed companion briefly glance his way warningly before returning his eyes to the front, staring through the many trees blankly as if he was a robot, programmed to walk on forever through this fateful forest.

Deidara didn't find it hard to suppress a smile at that thought; it wasn't funny. Being a puppet, Sasori was too near a robot for Deidara's comfort anyway. Luckily they didn't fight so often now, but a continual silence had blanketed them instead, as if there was nothing left to say to each other. Except mission talk of course…that was essential, although Deidara didn't think it really counted.

The person who was trailing them was making their noises too obvious, almost as if they wanted to be found and caught. Were they suicidal? Deidara glared over at his partner to see if he would finally be allowed to finish the annoying form of life behind them off. There was no change in his companion's visage for a few seconds, but then his eyes widened.

The time taken for the kunai whistling through the air and Deidara ducking seemed to have been synchronised perfectly, because it missed seriously injuring him by a hair's breadth, only just scraping the side of his cheek and drawing a thin line of blood.

Time slowed.

The kunai, Deidara realised, had not come from behind them - which meant that there was more than one attacker. At least this explained the obviously bad tracking; the person who had been following them had been trying to divert their attention from the one circling around in front to ambush them.

Still, this wouldn't make it a hard battle. He was part of 'Akatsuki' after all, one of the most feared shinobi groups in history. Letting adrenaline take control of his body Deidara turned and jumped up into the trees to his left, his hands already fumbling with the clay pouches attached to his waist.

Normally he would have prepared some clay chakra bombs since he was on a mission but, so frustrated at having travelled so far for nothing, he had used them up on the unlucky village guards who had decided to question them on their departure. Now he regretted his rash decision.

_Never mind. These are ninja far below our level, so I'll have time to make some more._

So thinking, Deidara began to channel his chakra into the clay, his palm-mouths chewing almost lazily as he watched his companion's hands fly deftly through the air, the blue chakra strings attaching his fingers to the wooden puppet almost invisible.

It was hardly worth the effort - making the bombs, that is - because he knew that the foolish ninja would be dead before he had finished. Sasori - the young-looking, serious puppet master he had been partnered with for almost five years now - really was a good fighter. Although Deidara would never admit it to his face, he actually rather envied his work. He appreciated just how much time and effort it must have taken to create the wooden masterpieces his senior fought with, and the fighting style itself was very difficult to master.

Sasori was described as 'senior' for, although he looked half as young, he was actually almost double Deidara's age. When they were still talking Deidara had found out that Sasori created his weapons out of real people that he had killed. It was apparent that he had done something similar for himself - an act that was based on his want for 'eternal beauty'; something which Deidara would never be able to get his head around.

Lost in thought, Deidara almost missed the disruption of the air currents behind him and jumped to the side just in time to miss the sharp sword that cut through the air where he had been crouching before. As he landed on another branch several meters away Deidara traced the sword back to it's owner who was now crouching where he had been a moment before. The other ninja stood and Deidara followed his example.

His palm-mouths had finished injecting chakra into the clay and now they spat the small lumps out into his palms. Eyeing his opponent carefully Deidara readied himself for more dodging; it was more convenient this way - at least until he had finished creating his attack.

The one holding the glinting sword didn't look like anything particularly special, just another bog-standard ninja. Judging from the lack of a headband Deidara assumed that either his attacker was a missing-nin or was trying to keep their town a secret. Neither was out of breath but they continued to stand still, not wishing to attack as they took the other in with their eyes.

'Akatsuki no Deidara.' It was a somewhat soulless voice that issued from the slim mouth, but Deidara was used to that kind of tone from his partner. Perversely the lack of emotion behind the words emphasised the fact that who he was fighting with was human. He was so used to having ninjas throw themselves at him in fury and desperation that seeing an enemy who hid their emotions was refreshing.

'Who are you, yeah?' He didn't let on his revelation though, keeping his face full of contempt; it always helped him to stay alert. His opponent smiled thinly, hoping to unnerve the blonde bomb-maker.

'I'll tell you before you die,' he replied softly, watching Deidara's reaction. It appeared that there was none, although inside Deidara was surprised. Most people would have either refused him their identity outright or told him straight away; _'Ahahahaha, well I'll tell you since you're gonna' die!'_. This response however suggested that his opponent was not confident enough to know if he was going to win yet or not.

'I promise,' his adversary added, winking conspiratorially. Perhaps he had said that to confuse him. The clay birds had finished being moulded though and it was time for action.

With Sasori's fight completely forgotten Deidara launched into his own private battle, his mouth forming a grin as he clasped his hands together and watched the bright explosion that followed. It wasn't enough to kill his attacker - but somehow Deidara had expected that.

'What, is that all ya' got?' The words were so quietly whispered into his ear that Deidara jumped, pulling a kunai from his weapons pouch to counter the fierce swipe of the glinting sword. Knowing that the kunai wouldn't be able to stand out for much longer Deidara used the extra time to push away from his opponent, flying backwards to land on another branch. Losing his balance he let himself fall to the ground as two shruiken flew over his head. He landed on his feet.

Pinpointing the position of the thin-lipped man Deidara threw his second bird, a much faster one than the last one, and began to pursue his prey. He had to commend his attacker on his speed and agility, for he managed to avoid the bird quite effectively for longer than most would have but, just as the bird got close enough to kill him should Deidara detonate the bomb, a new opposition appeared.

A blow to the head shattered Deidara's concentration but was not quite hard enough to knock him out.

'Kus-' Deidara began to swear, but realised he didn't really have time as an iron mace appeared into his line of sight. The wind felt familiar as he flew backwards through the air once more, skidding to a stop several meters away, next to a small bush. He didn't know where his weapon had disappeared to, but he didn't want to risk detonating it in case it had fallen to the ground somewhere near.

His eyes slated, Deidara examined his new enemy. He didn't look as sophisticated as his friend had, but he also looked stronger; his body more muscular and his face duller. There wasn't time to continue his examination further however because the mace-wielding foe lurched forward and charged at Deidara, swinging his weapon menacingly.

This kind of attack was what Deidara was used to dealing with - blind fury - and he allowed himself a small grin as he dodged the swipe of the heavily spiked metal and directed his body mass at his adversary's legs. The impact was enough to unbalance his foe but not to knock him over, and so Deidara jumped out of the way of the counterattack and pulled a kunai from his weapons pouch. His opponent may be stronger than he was, but at least he had the upper hand speed-wise.

'Oi, teme, you think you can beat me with that puny little knife?' The laugh that followed the large man's speech was as gruff as his voice had been. Deidara frowned; this man was disgusting. Then, taking advantage of the man's drop of guard, Deidara closed the gap between them and drew his arm back, the dark metal of the kunai he was holding glittering in the sunlight that penetrated the thick branches. His opponent's smile had disappeared.

'Yeah, I do. Hm.' Deidara swung his arm down in a smooth arc, the sharp point of his weapon heading straight for his enemy's heart. Then he froze.

The cold sting of metal against his throat was not a nice one but it was clearly recognisable, even though he didn't feel it often. Flicking his eyes to his right he saw the thin-lipped, brown-haired man he had first fought with. Truth be told, he had forgotten about him.

'I'm from the hidden village of mist,' he introduced himself blandly, and Deidara tried very hard to suppress a smirk; did this guy think he had won? With his left hand hanging uselessly by his side, he silently formed a one-handed concentration symbol and closed his eyes.

'It was nice meeting you, yeah.' This time he didn't hide his triumphant smile as his body began to change shape, growing steadily bigger. The sword cut into his neck, but no blood was drawn. Instead, his attackers saw the solid clay that lay beneath the well moulded figure.

'Boss!' Called the gruff voice as the clay Deidara reached bursting point. His companion had already disappeared though, and when he tried to follow him he tripped in his haste. A moment later and his form was engulfed in a magnificent explosion of light. Deidara, watching from a safe distance away, was only slightly comforted by the sight; he had missed his real target. He had already prepared two more bird-shaped bombs though and a special attack that he hoped he wouldn't have to use. Now he waited.

'Ah, I didn't think you'd have run away.' The voice came from behind him and so Deidara turned to see the opponent that had managed to avoid the explosion.

'No, but _you_ should have. Hm,' Deidara warned, knowing that his advice would be ignored. Sure enough his attacker stayed put, his stance obstinate. _I'll finish this quickly then. Sasori-no-danna has probably already completed his fight._

Forming the concentration sign with both hands, everything seemed to happen so fast that, within ten seconds, it was all over.

First, his foe began to run forwards towards him, closing the gap between them at an alarming rate. Then, when they were within five meters of each other, Deidara saw what the mist nin was holding in his hand. The bird-shaped bomb that had failed to detonate because of the second, more muscular enemy, now taunted him with it's lifeless eyes, reminding Deidara of the symbol he had just formed.

'I'm Kushiya Ji-' The mist nin's speech was cut off by the sub atomic clay bombs he had breathed in exploding inside of him and he stumbled, landing at Deidara's feet as the bird he held in his hand finally reacted to it's command to detonate and exploded in a burst of light, the blast smaller than the clay figure had been, but more effective. The mist nin's head was blown apart, although it was apparent that he was going to die anyway.

The Iwagakure nin however, having not had time to fully avoid the suicidal attack, lay on the ground a few meters away, thrown there by the force of the attack, his vision blurring fast. With his body numb from the shock of being so near the explosion, Deidara knew that he must be bleeding badly. He had landed on his back and so now stared up through the trees at the small patch of blue sky that was visible through the leaves.

The sky was slowly turning red. Why had he been so stupid? Why had he forgotten about that bird? Sasori had once told him that playing with explosives was dangerous, but he had always considered himself an expert of the art.

_It would be a fitting end though, wouldn't it? To die by explosion. Hm._

Deidara wondered where Sasori was. Then he thought about all the missions they had been on together, what he had learnt from them, and then back to when he had first met the puppet master. What about before that - when he was younger?

It was impossible for him to move but he tried anyway, hoping that it would help keep his eyes open a bit longer. There was something warm in his throat though and he felt as if his eyes were burning as warm liquid trickled out of them and down his face. He couldn't see the trees any longer for all the blood.

'Deidara? Oi, Deidara - pull yourself together!'

Sasori was angry with him. _What have I done now, yeah?_ He wondered faintly, but couldn't answer the question; he had already forgotten what he had just thought. The warm fluid in his throat had risen and now he coughed on instinct. This only helped to advance the flow though and when he tried to swallow he realised he couldn't.

_Am I going to choke to death?_ _Am I going to drown?_

There was fear, terrible fear, constricting his chest. It felt as if someone had lassoed his waist and was now pulling on the rope - tighter, tighter. His insides were squashed and yet they still had space to churn sickeningly. Then he felt as if he was going to throw up, but his throat silently screamed impossibility.

Deidara's mind suddenly felt disorientated, as if he was spinning through thin air, down into nothingness. He wasn't sure if he had closed his eyes or if the blood was just too thick so see through, but everything was black. Somewhere very far away he could hear someone saying something, calling something.

_I don't want to drown!_

He was desperate. Couldn't he create another explosion and end it quickly? Why did he feel so very far away? Everything had gone. Even the voice had faded into nothingness.

_Am I…dead?_

_

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_

So that's the prologue finished.

This isn't the last we'll see of Deidara (most of the fic is based around him and Sasori) but I'm not giving anything else away. Ah, I'll try and upload the first real chapter soon.

Please review!!!

-solus


	2. Awakening

_(Disclaimer for this fic is found in the prologue.)_

Hello!

So this is the first proper chapter. It is a little disjointed at the beginning but settles down at the end into the format which most of the fic will be written in; past tense, first person, Siri's POV. The fic is essentially a diary written by Siri but her entries read like a book except for the first bit; I only say 'dear diary' once.

I hope you enjoy reading it.

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**Chapter One; Awakening**

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Dear Diary.

Well, I don't quite know what to write in you. Or, at least, I don't know where to start. I bought you with the intention of recording all that has happened to me so far but perhaps I should start off by introducing myself.

I'm called Siri, a nickname my younger brother gave me. Unfortunately I no longer recollect what my real name is, much as I no longer remember with any certainty anything that happened to me before the age of thirteen.

Ah, that was the perfect sentence to lead into the story of the rest of my life - so why can't I find the next line?

I suppose I might be a little too distracted at the minute to launch straight into my past, because the present has hit me a terrible blow. It was only two days ago now I think logically about it but it seems a lot longer if I don't.

Without explaining my past it is hard to get across the relationship I share with the people I live with, but I suppose if I start by getting this burden off my mind and onto paper then you can try to make more sense of it later as I explain myself more fully.

When I'm not on a mission I normally reside in a small, cold stone room with a pile of blankets in the right hand corner and a slightly singed, ramshackle desk in the opposite corner. It was as I was lying down on my makeshift bed two days ago, bored out of my mind and hoping for some rest, that I felt the tingling of the heavy ring I wore on my left 'pinkie' finger. This was not a desperately unusual feeling, but it did mean that there was a possibility of me getting a new mission, and so I pushed myself up into a sitting position and stretched before making my way to the old wooden 'door' that covered the hole in the stone and served as the entrance and exit for my room.

It was weird, I decided, that I had not heard my leaders voice yet, telling me what I had to do or where I had to go. It was because of this however that I ended up meeting the real reason for the tingling of my ring. It was, well…

…_**Bloody.**_

_That was the only thing I could think of; that horribly taunting ruby liquid that somehow tainted my surroundings. It wasn't as if I had never seen blood before, or as if I wasn't used to it - indeed, I could almost say I specialised in the stuff - but that didn't make it any better._

_I had only been back at 'home' for a few months, if that, and my newly acquired medical skills had already been called on (seriously) more than half a dozen times. This though was another story entirely. As soon as I saw the duo I froze, shocked into total stillness in their presence. Nothing I could do could save them and I found thoughts of guilty desperation running through my mind._

_**Why did they come back here? Why did they call me? Why did…? I can't help them! I can't do anything! So why do they think I can? Why do I have to be involved? **_

_They had just acknowledged my presence. Well the one that was still standing had anyway, his hair matted with a dried liquid of similar colour to his own crimson locks. My frantic horror at the hopeless situation had moved from my mind to my body and I felt my brain go numb once more, my stomach fluttering with dangerous intensity. I felt faint._

_**Wh-what happened?**__ I turned the question over in my mind before finally pulling myself together as the injured male in front of me tried to take another step forward but tripped, falling to his knees barely two meters in front of me and dropping the man who he had been half-dragging, half-carrying, next to him._

'_What happened?!' I was by his side in an instant, but my hand hesitated by his shoulder. I wanted to support him, to help him, but I wasn't sure if I was supposed to; would it be overstepping my boundaries? No, scrap that, would it even be welcome?_

_Thoughts of past friendships and uplifting, heartfelt, sincerely spoken words hovered at the back of my mind - almost as if they were scared to come forward and witness the gory sight I now faced, but I doubt they would have helped much anyway had they decided to surface then._

_My companion's chestnut eyes, unharmed it seemed, met mine with blankness. Then again, he never was one to show much emotion. There was a moment of complete silence. It was broken by the dripping of blood onto the cold stone floor._

'_Hahh.' The harsh exhalation was his and I saw him grimace before he fell, his right hand moving to cover a particular area of his chest. He collapsed on his side, to his left, and it was only when I turned my head that I saw how he had managed to land on his partner._

_His partner! I had almost forgotten him for his quietness, but it seemed as if he was unconscious for he was unmoving and, having been dropped onto his back, I could see that his eyes were shut and coated with blood._

_My actions were only natural for someone who had studied medical ninjutsu. I blanked my mind to help calm my nerves and emotions. Then I began basic medical procedure._

_Having removed the red-headed male from his companion and lain him on his back, I checked both men for a pulse. The heartbeats were faint, although the blonde-haired male's pulse count was less noticeable than the other._

_By now I was soaked in their blood although I had hardly touched them. Something so completely out of proportion like this was impossible for me to deal with. They should have died of blood loss perhaps a few minutes beforehand which made the pressure on my decision even worse._

_Relying back on my medical knowledge it was nearly always advised to tend to the most injured first until more help could be called; keep both alive as long as possible - a general rule, but with it's exceptions. This, I assumed, was one of it's exceptions._

_There was no help that I could call on, no greater medic that I knew of that was near enough or trusted enough to aid me in my task. If I tried to keep both alive then they would ultimately both die. If I concentrated on one then there was still a great chance that they would both die, but a _certainty _that one would die. There was more of a chance to save the stronger of the two, but I couldn't bare to let the other die. Then, could I dare let _either_ of them die? I tried to wash the blood away with a simple water jutsu as I fretted over these thoughts._

_**The longer I deliberate the quicker they slip away. Leader-sama will kill me if I lose both.**_

_This practical, if perhaps over exaggerated, spin on the ordeal brought me rather sharply back to the present. If it was necessary for me to save at least one of them then my greatest chance lay with concentrating my efforts on the strongest one._

_Turning my back on the blonde I gathered the faintly green-tinged healing chakra to my hands and began to heal my red haired companion. Although I acted without thinking, finding it easier that way, I remembered the chestnut eyes that had met mine not so long ago, and the blank face that had gone with them. Almost ironically, my face was probably just as blank as his had been._

_Was I dying too then?_

Perhaps I was. Perhaps I was killing myself - or at least a part of me. I suppose it makes sense that I should want to rid myself of any memories concerning the one I turned my back on. It would be less painful that way.

I was unsuccessful though. Perhaps that's why I bought you - because I needed something to do, something to take my mind off these accusing thoughts and bitter memories. Then again, logically thinking, writing my past down on paper - what has happened to me up until this point - should only make my guilt worse.

For the one I turned my back on was someone who had never turned his back on me. I may have had reason to hope that he never would but now he will never have the chance to.

I'm sad. Maybe I should finally start the real story; the story of one, small, insignificant person who believes she is the centre of the world.

…

Then again, doesn't everybody?

********

_Laughter and a clear blue sky. The long grass bows and sways in sync with the strongly blowing breeze and a small green leaf flies by, briefly catching on a wisp of stray brown hair before continuing on it's way across the large grassy plain. There are flowers in the field too, flowers of many different varieties - and off to the right is a clump of trees. The perspective from which this scene is viewed from appears to be a low one, and when the scenery swivels, as if I am looking around me, even more grass can be seen. To the right is a large clump of forget-me-nots, and a small sakura tree fights against the wind on the left. It is from behind this tree that the laughter originates from, and as the view stays fixed on the tree it isn't hard to see where the rock that suddenly comes flying at me comes from either. It is apparent that I don't manage to dodge the blunt missile in time, as taunts follow the slow shift of position._

'_Oh, ahahaha, as expected of the 'wonder-child'!'_

''_Wonder-child'? What'ya talking about - she's just a loner!'_

'_Yeah, she's really stupid actually. She just cheats on the exams.'_

'_Cheat! Ahahaha!'_

_I stand, because the perspective rises with me, and begin to run through the flowers and towards the small clump of trees to my right. Something hard hits me with some force on the small of my back, and I see another small rock thud to the ground slightly in front of me, to my left. The vision fades, the thudding of my feet against the ground sounding loud in my ears. Then even that sound disappears._

That was my earliest memory. It appears that I was hated then when I was younger - which is interesting in a way because it helps me to build up a picture of my past. A later memory, seen from a taller perspective, shows a similar-sized, smiling, blonde boy holding out his hand to me - and another of an older, light-brown-haired girl, dressed in the uniform of Iwagakure's elite forces, training me to hit a wooden target board with a well worn set of kunai. A younger boy than me, peering out innocently from behind his long bangs, wears a T-shirt that reads 'Shika'. It looks hand-made, and I assume that it's his name. This, I believe, was my brother - and the girl in the memory before him my sister. I don't know who that welcoming, smiling boy was, because I have reason to believe that he was not from my family. Was he a friend?

It is irrelevant however.

When I woke up from these memories they were all I could clearly remember. I will continue my story from that point onwards.

_First I was met by the small, normally insignificant noises of the forest and it's inhabitants, and the trickling sound of a nearby stream (or another source of water). Then I felt a cool, inconsistent breeze fanning against my face, helping to bring me back to my senses. Blinking my eyes open blearily I felt acutely disorientated - and when I tried to move my right arm I realised that my clothes were damp._

'_Sasori no danna - she's awake. Hm.'_

_The idea that other people may be nearby hadn't occurred to me before I heard the male voice, and the thought that they had noticed me was unnerving; did I know these people?_

_A shuffling sound followed the words, coming nearer and nearer to where I was currently lying (on the ground). Then the cool breeze subsided and I blinked open my eyes again to be met with a partly visible blue sky and sunlight that filtered it's way through the many branches that hung above me, their leaves already dead and gone - suggesting to me that it was nearing the end of autumn. The wind was very mild for a day so late in the year. _

_The shuffling sound had stopped now, less than a metre away from me on my right, and I wondered whether I should try and push myself up off of the ground to see what creature had made the peculiar noise. Deciding that there was no harm in at least trying, I pushed down on the hard-packed earth with my arms and managed to raise my body several inches before collapsing back onto the ground. It had been enough for me to see the source of the sound of the water though - for a small river ran in a straight line from my left to my right, barely more than five meters in front of me. I assumed that it was also likely to be the source of my dampness._

'_Hey, it's probably better if you stay where you are for now, yeah,' the same voice from before informed me helpfully. Turning my head to the left, from where the voice had come from, I took in the blue sandals and white socks silently with my eyes before tracing the bent legs upwards to the cloaked torso and finally up to the man's face._

_He was a blonde. For some reason hair colour was one of the first things I noticed about a person and the most memorable feature as well. Other than the hair, which was long and tied back in a high ponytail with a thick bang covering the left side of his face, he had one visible blue eye and wore an Iwagakure forehead protector. Even though my memories were sketchy my knowledge was still almost flawless, and I recognised him as a missing nin immediately by the deep scratch across the symbol on his head-band._

_I blinked, not sure whether this was a bad turn of events or not. Was _I_ a missing nin? Did I _know_ these people? If so, would it sound bad if I asked them who they were?_

'_Haah,' I exhaled heavily, having averted my eyes from the blonde's face a few seconds before. I had almost forgotten about the strange shuffling-creature to my right until he spoke. His voice announced him as human, but when I turned my head to look I found that I wasn't so sure._

'_Who are you?' His voice was deep and almost seemed to echo. When I ran my eyes over him though I was surprised. Such a deep voice should belong to someone tall and muscular, but the man to my right appeared to possess neither of those two qualities. Instead, he was short and fat; the latter in the extremes. _

_He, too, wore a cloak - the design the same as the man on my right's had been; black with red cloud patterns. The one who had just spoken however also wore a straw hat, strips of white cloth attached to the sides in order to conceal more of the head, and his face was so much in shadow that it was impossible for me to make it out clearly. _

_At least his blunt question told me enough to answer my previous, silent enquiry as to whether I knew them or not. It also brought up a much more serious issue though because I agreed with him; _who was I_?_

_The realisation of the loss of such simple information shocked me and I froze, my eyes fixed on the shadowed face of the deep-voiced man on my right. If _I_ didn't know who I was, then who would? If I didn't know who I was, then surely all that must have happened to me before would just have been a waste of time; all those memories that I couldn't remember, all that personal information and those feelings that I must have spent so much time on…were they really just gone?_

_I remembered the sandy-blonde haired boy with the innocent face and home made T-shirt, and then the mature girl who had trained with me. A field full of flowers briefly crossed my mind, and I remembered the sakura tree, the fleeting scent of the sakura blossoms stimulating my sense of smell for just a moment before I was brought back to the present by a harsh,_

'_Well?'_

_Maybe being found by these missing nins was not such a good thing after all. I thought that perhaps I would have preferred waking lonely._

_That innocent face and deep blue eyes, partly covered by dirty-blonde hair, flashed into my mind once again. This time I saw him holding up another hand-made T-shirt, as if giving it to me. The lettering was less clear on this one, as if someone less experienced had sewn it, but I could still make out the name._

'_Siri.' I don't think I had meant to read it out loud but as soon as I heard my own voice, faint from lack of use, I started in surprise and blinked to find myself back in the wood._

'_Siri? Is that your name?'_

_I didn't know. I didn't know what my name was. Siri didn't sound like a proper name but then again neither did Shika. Was it a nickname? _

_I nodded in reply to his question though; I felt as if I should give some kind of answer and, as I didn't know my real name, it was fine for me to adopt that one, wasn't it?_

'_What a weird name, yeah,' the blonde on my right voiced and I wondered whether it was distaste that I heard in his speech or merely an aversion to the novelty of the name._

'_So what's your last name?'_

_I wished that the shorter man to my right would just give up. Wasn't it enough that I had given him a name? I tried to push myself into a sitting position again because I had a feeling that it would be more comfortable answering his questions that way but, although I got further than last time, I failed again._

_I knew that the man who had last spoken was still waiting for an answer and so I winced in frustration as I wondered whether to tell him the truth - that I honestly didn't know and that I couldn't remember. If he believed me then it would be a lot easier because it would quite effectively stem the flow of questions - but after having answered one of his questions already I had a feeling that it would be harder to convince him that I was completely clueless now._

'_I-I don't know.'_

_I had intended to lie to him - to tell him that I was an orphan, found outside my home village, taken in and given that 'weird name'. It was a good cover story for why I didn't know but in the end I found that I couldn't say it. It was there, on the tip of my tongue, but something held me back._

'_Eh? What do you mean you don't know? Hm.'_

_That was the man on my left. Aside from the difference in the pitch and tone of their voices, I was beginning to notice another subtle difference in the way the two males spoke. Whereas the one on my right seemed to speak roughly, it was also obvious to me that he could, most probably, speak very politely should the situation ever occur when he needed to. The blonde however, even though he could speak well and fluently, seemed to have acquired a weird speech habit of adding '_hm_' (or '_yeah_') to the end of some of his sentences._

_It was awkward, I decided, being stared at with such intensity whilst I was lying on the ground. I tried to get up again and this time, to my surprise, I was helped by a firm hand placed in the middle of my back. It was apparent, when I was finally in a sitting position, that the change of perspective did nothing to improve my feeling of inferiority. I suppose that that was mainly to do with their chakras though, which were both far superior to mine._

_They were staring at me - or at least, that's the impression I got anyway - and so I avoided their eyes, fixing my gaze on the swiftly flowing river in front of me instead. Weirdly I felt a kind of empathy with the water and I found myself captivated by it's beauty. The banks on either side, glistening with water droplets, were also very beautiful and as I let my eyes wander higher, up to the trees and, even higher, the sky, I found myself amazed by the splendour of the natural world all around me._

_A cough brought me out of my state of rapture and I realised that they must still be waiting for an explanation of my last answer. I frowned mentally, although my face remained blank. Since I had already told them that I didn't know my name, I didn't think that it would be too much of a jump to impart the rest of my knowledge on that area, considering how little there actually was. I left the few memories I had retained out of my explanation however because I had a feeling that they were special and unique to me; besides, who were these people to be asking me these questions?_

_When I spoke I felt self-conscious and although I was meant to be convincing the missing nins either side of me I actually ended up convincing myself the most because I hadn't quite taken the situation in before then._

_**Oh God, this is real. I really don't know anything, I really don't know anything…**_

_Shocked, I tried to force a laugh in the hope that it would calm me down and rid me of some of my nerves - but it sounded too fake and only served to scare me more as I heard the state of my shaken mind displayed quite clearly in the relative silence of the forest all around me._

_I think, in the end, it was probably this state of self-confusion that managed to convince the men of the validity of my explanation, not my hurriedly spoken account of my lack of memory._

'_So…' I heard the man on my right murmur, as if he was talking to himself. I felt nervous, as if I was being judged; what would the verdict be? 'That's not necessarily a bad thing…'_

'_Eh? Sasori no danna, isn't it a _good_ thing? Hm.'_

_**Sasori no danna? I heard him say that before, when I first woke up. Is that the deep-voiced man's name then?**_

'_Don't get so carried away Deidara - it has it's disadvantages as well.'_

_**Deidara…so I know both of their names now?**_

_As curious as I was about why my state of memory should effect these people, I thought I might learn more by listening in to their conversation than attempting to ask questions of my own. This idea however was pushed to the side as they remembered that I was there and thus returned their attention to me._

'_Siri…ka?' Asked the man I now knew as 'Sasori (no danna)'. It sounded rhetorical and so I didn't answer. 'Well, even if it is a made up name, I think it suits you.'_

_I tried to take the opinion as a complement, but bearing in mind that the man on my left - 'Deidara' - had called it a 'weird name', this was easier thought than done. __After some deliberation I thanked him. After all they didn't seem all that bad to me then._

'_Ah, Sasori no danna…the sun…'_

_I looked up at Deidara's words to see that the sun had past midday and was halfway towards evening. I wondered why this was of importance. To the right of me I heard the metallic jingle of bells and, glancing at Sasori on my right I saw that the hat he wore had bells dangling from the rim as well as strips of white cloth. He, too, was looking up at the sun. _

_This angle allowed me to see his face under his hat in clearer light and I found myself surprised to see how narrow it was. A piece of light black cloth covered his mouth and hung down past his chin, ending in a point that strangely reminded me of a well-shaped beard._

'_You're right. We should be going now - it's getting late.'_

_Sasori's words confused me more than Deidara's had because, even though it was past midday, it wasn't anywhere near what I would call 'late'. I said nothing on the matter though; this was, after all, none of my business. Sasori, once he had spoken, had turned his back on me and Deidara, who had been crouching to the left of me for so long, suddenly shimmered and appeared next to his companion with incredible speed._

_With their backs to me and looking as if they were about to just walk away I wondered whether I should say farewell or if it would be out of place. I only really knew their names and that they were missing nins. Now I thought about it though I could tell more than that about them. The cloaks and hats they wore suggested that they were in an organisation of sorts and, judging by their chakras, it was a powerful one. Missing nins were supposed to be cruel and heartless yet they had stopped for me, an unconscious, defenceless girl, and not harmed me in any way. I opened my mouth but in the end I couldn't find the words I wanted to say. Besides, they probably weren't expecting a farewell._

'_What are you doing?__'__ A deep voice cut into my thoughts and I started, blinking in order to focus more fully on my surroundings. The two cloaked men were still there in front of me, and they still had their backs turned to me. Was it them who had spoken, or was it someone else? Sitting up into a crouching position, I swivelled around me to see if there was anyone else nearby._

'_You__'__re coming with us.__'_

_I was half way through my turn when I heard the voice again but this time it was obvious who had spoken. Completing my circle I saw that the speaker still had his back to me and I stood up slowly, my heart beating faster although I didn't think I had a reason for the biological change in rhythm. __It wasn__'__t a question. It wasn__'__t really even an order but, rather, a statement - and I didn__'__t doubt for a moment as to whether he had the authority to make that statement. I felt strange though and I hesitated for a moment before walking towards them. They were too powerful for me and I felt somehow dwarfed in their presence so I hung my head as we began to walk onwards. No-one spoke. _

_It was a slow pace but, then again, I was naturally a fast walker. I guessed that the pace was so slow because 'Sasori-no-danna', the one who had invited me to follow, shuffled rather than walked and, now I looked properly, he seemed to have a tail! This, I decided, was most definitely not a human attribute and I began to wonder whether he was under some extremely extravagant disguise. Was this for a mission? Considering I thought they were part of an organisation of sorts it was highly likely that they would be given missions at least once in a while - and I could see no other explanation for being so precautious._

_**Then again…if they're on a mission why did they pick me up? Am I part of their mission? Were they told to meet up with me, to kidnap me? It would make some sense in that it would explain why my loss of memory seemed important to them, but I don't know because I can't remember. Surely I can't really be involved with these kinds of people? I-well, I still feel young (although I can't remember what I look like!), and their chakras are overwhelming. Am I bait? Am I a pawn in a complicated game of politics, being led to the slaughter? At first I thought my loss of memory was an inconvenience for sentimental reasons, but now I see that it is a lot more complicated and serious than that. It could, in theory, be a matter of life and death.**_

_Maybe it was just because of my pessimistic thoughts but I suddenly found myself looking at the two men in front of me in a much more suspicious way. Really, now that I thought about it, people of their level should have nothing to do with someone of mine - and the way they had been waiting for me to wake up (_'Sasori no danna - she's awake. Hm.'_) was somehow unnerving._

_I didn't understand why they had wanted me to come with them because the journey was made in silence but, for some reason, I didn't particularly mind. Even if I had been sent as a political pawn I didn't feel like one. Maybe it was the beautiful scenery around us (or my sudden recognition of it) or perhaps it was just this weird feeling of carelessness but I suddenly realised that, at least emotionally, my memory loss had set me free._

_

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~End of Chapter one.

So what did you think? I know that at the minute it's all a bit confusing etc. but it will get explained later on. The majority of the fic will be written in the italic style (with her thoughts in italic bold) as the present Siri looking back on her life with the Akatsuki. Occasionally there will be non-italic bits from the present Siri but these are few and far between. I will try and get the next chapter up soon. (It should be out within the next week).

Please review and tell me what you thought! Are there any bits you particularly liked or disliked? Is there anything you want me to change?

Thankyou for reading,

-Solus


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